Going Going Gone

After KCDC tomorrow a large group of the college KCDC leaders will be heading off to Del Valle camp grounds for a mini weekend retreat. This will be the first year the class of 2008 will get a chance to experience real camping as part of the college department. I have to admit I'm kinda excited for it but at the same time I am up at nearly 2 in the morning trying to finish packing and finish hw and clean. It has definitely been a busy couple of weeks and honestly I am completely drained both physically and spiritually. I don't know what's planned for this weekend but I will be praying for God to meet with me, to revive my spirit and to really give me some guidance and direction as to where He wants me to go.

On that note, I feel like my brain has been working overtime these couple of weeks as I am constantly thinking about what needs to be done next, what I need to plan ahead for, all the different worries in my life. This is not to say I have spent these past weeks moping around like a dejected child in a corner. I have been blessed with a lot of people who have been keeping me afloat but I think I'm at the point where I need to really just support myself. Don't get me wrong. I'm entirely grateful and thankful to those who have been continually encouraging me and have been sharing my burdens but I can't only depend on them and not try to help myself right? That's what I will leave you with.

Actually I feel bad that I have not updated my 3 part blog so here is the song part. I was actually going to post up a different song but after last Friday it got changed (in my mind at least). Terry W-L introduced a new idea of meditation on the Word last Friday at fellowship and I wanted to share my experience with you guys. As John 19 was read out loud, the college folk closed their eyes and were instructed to really rest on the word, on taking in the gospel. As the reading ended, an extremely bright but at the same time, faint picture of Jesus on the cross came to mind. As I was staring at the sight before me, I realized my eyes could not stay on the image any longer and my eyes were drawn to the feet of Jesus. In the kneeling position I was in, I could not help but feel like I finally understood what it meant to be at the feet of Jesus. It's hard to explain but in my mind, the physical act of kneeling at the feet of Jesus was so incredibly powerful. For the rest of the meditation time, my mind kept going to this song written a couple of months ago. It's nowhere close to being finished and I don't know the direction I want to take the song but for now, here it is. I haven't had the time to add instrumentals to the recording of it yet but hopefully I can get that out ....before the year is done? We'll see. You guys all know how bad I am at following up with these things.


Chorus:
I am spoken for
Each and every day
My hope is in a God who
Reserved for me a space
Picked up from the ground
From the rumble of my life
In His hands I’m safe and sound
I am spoken for

Bridge:
Hands that washed my feet (I am spoken for)
Hands nailed to the cross (I am spoken for)
Hands that hold me close (I am spoken for)
Hands that shield me (I am spoken for)

(2x)
These hands made me new and
These hands paid the price
For my sin that caused me death
He has given me life

A Heart to Heart

There have been quite a few lingering thoughts in my head these past couple of weeks. Well more like the past month or so. The plan? A 3 part post that will be posted throughout the week ( if I remember and if I'm not too tired from KCDC that is). The topics will be: songs, driving, and humility.

Since I just had a driving lesson today why not start with that. So for the past month I've been getting driving lessons and I must say, as much as I think driving is pretty cool and kinda fun, it feels like school. And I don't mean the good school either. Here's some context. Now this is not to sound boastful or anything but I've never really been chastised in school by a teacher since like.....1st grade(Ms. To just really didn't like me and I think the feelings were mutual and D.Yee in high school doesn't count either cause he holds a grudge towards anyone who corrects him). School up until this point has been relatively nice. My grades aren't perfect but I do my best and I think a lot of times that is reflected in my work and my teachers have respected that.

Now on with the story. So far school hasn't really felt like school. It was just something I did and I more or less enjoyed(not including finals and midterms). But my driving lessons feel like school. I'm sure it's for my own good so I can learn how to drive properly and whatnot but every negative comment burns itself into my thoughts and I can only imagine it to be equivalent with how people feel when teachers give you a bad grade. Or not? I'm not sure but that's the comparison I'm going with. Plus as much as I do actually enjoy driving and think it's exciting, I find myself checking the clock constantly to let myself know how much longer I have to be in the car. Now I know at times I've done this in high school (especially in apbio with meng) but that was just an 'I'm bored when can we go to the next class or eat' not 'When will this end so I can leave this car and not see it for another week'. I'm pretty sure this story has no point to it but I
thought I'd just put it out there.

Life has been ...

GOOD!

I didn't realize how long it has been since I've updated this blog but that might be because tumblr is quite addicting. In the past month or so, I have....finished my second year of college, enjoyed coffee for the first time (soooo yummy), lounged around at home, went driving for the first time, had an amazing week at chapter camp, and lounged around some more.

It was definitely weird ending the second year of college. It's really hard to believe that 2 years ago I was barely graduated and now another graduation is somewhat looming.

Chapter camp was an immense blessing. As interesting as the manuscript study time and worship track was, I think my favorite parts of chapter camp was when I stayed up having one-on-one conversations with people in the molly murphy cabin. Lots of open honest sharing that really brought a lot of joy into my heart. Thoroughly wonderful =] I'll keep those conversations to myself though.

*goal for next year = see someone fly off the blob*

At the beginning of the year/semester I had a list of sorts up to keep track of active changes I was making in my life. Not sure what number I'm on but one to add to the list is definitely based on

"Better is open rebuke, than hidden love" Proverbs 27:5

I think it's become somewhat of a theme for me these past couple of weeks. Before, I was incredibly scared of confrontation of any sort. Now though, I know that if something is really burdening me, it's important to share that with other people so that things would not turn into bitterness but instead would be let go. Wise words from the senior class (plus the bible)

My life is boring so I don't have anything else to talk about. I think if I blog in sorter intervals I'd remember the small happy things better and be able to blog about then but I don't so oo well. Hello bob :]

Green Tea Tapioca

So I was just....not feeling very good today. I think a lot of it was spiritually and it was carrying over to the physical side. But my trip to moccachios for a hot green tea tapioca right before my Pol Sci 2 lecture changed everything.

First of all, I think a hot green tea tapioca always makes me happy. And as soon as that cup was in my hand, I had a smile on my face. Then I proceeded to go to lecture to watch my GSI give a guest lecture on civil societies, specifically in China. And I have to say, I sat there captivated for an hour and a half. Lots of funny first hand stories but I think the clips that were shown and the in depth descriptions and narrative of what happened and the emotional response by the native people just struck me and I could do nothing but try to memorize every fact my GSI was saying. I mean I was literally tearing up listening to the emotional response of the parents of students who were part of the Tiananmen riots. And then to see the original footage of the Tankman was so...time stopping. Yeah I walked out ofS that lecture hall very content with my day.

But the day was not over. Nope. Ran over to cafe 3 to have lunch with Becky. I think Becky and I try to eat together at least every other week or so....or really when one of us realize it's been awhile since we've seen each other. This particular dinner, we met up around 6:30 and stayed in cafe 3 talking into 9:30. Yes that's right past closing. Such a wide range of topics from Boy Meets World and Psych to consumer spending and greed to international issues fueled by western capitalism. Conversations went from light to really heavy and then back to light again. But for sure, lots of really good and encouraging conversations.

And now to cap off the day, Becky told me to go read givesmehope.com and mylifeisaverage.com the latter was quite funny and the former was downright inspiring(which is the goal of the site). Loved reading all the different posts thougt it has monopolized the entire rest of my night. Regardless, it has been worth it and I still have a whole bunch left to read.

It's been a really good day :]

*talking about the guy in my discussion who thinks eugenics is wonderful*
Becky: ...what's wrong with him???
Me: Iono....maybe he's Republican?
(this was a joke.......hope no one was offended)

One of those weeks...

I'm having one of those weeks, where nothing out of the ordinary happens, and I really think that everything is fine. And then something simple and small happens, and I am entirely off kilter.

as promised here are some spring break pics. there was a lot of joy and happiness in that week :]

March...ing on

Corny title I know. But March has traditionally been a very packed month. For 4 years in high school March meant Spera presentations. The culminations of a whole year of hard work, planning, researching, rehearsing, resting on 2 15 minute presentations. With one year we knew what was coming, one year we were incredibly hopeful, another we were far too cocky about ourselves, and lastly our year of high hopes, depression and an incredible pulled out win.

March has also been the month of the beginning of the track season. Which meant all my time was going to be divided up between track and spera. In senior year, March meant college. And in the same sense, that was also the beginning of fat lard.

One of the key features of March has to be eating. Very much so connected to spera, the meals in March had to be one of the highlights of the entire year. Not because of all the good food we ate, but because of the company. March was definitely the month of close bonding, laughter, lots and lots of eating pictures.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=30810&id=580911652
look if you dont believe me. and this is just one of the years


if you look closely theres a script being worked on


and we sure do love food






but food also leads us to be really weird


and do things like this

These past two years March has been different though. Sure there's still a lot of eating. And yes lots and lots of bonding time (plus couch pictures) But March has also become a month of high hopes, fast crashes and above all else, new confidence. Well at least that's kinda what it was last year. I guess I was expecting the same to repeat itself this March but it hasn't exactly happened.....not entirely sure what I expect right now... Still though, March has not let me down and it's been a pretty good month, this week in particular. Once I get a chance the new couch pics will go up. Bound to bring a smile to someone's face :]

And as the month comes to an end, I guess there's not much to do but hope April will be just a bit better. "Only time will tell" =p guess what script/what year + what scene this is from