This is coming almost 2 weeks late but midterms, problem sets, and paper have been keeping me busy. Last last Friday, I had an interview with the media resource center in Moffitt library for a job there. Here's the breakdown.
The bad: Since the time I applied for the job and my interview, the work shifts had changed days and I would be unable to work those hours due to classes, MOC, and college group.
The good: My interviewer said the interview went great and she thought I would be perfect for the job if my schedule had worked out.
The redeeming factor: My interviewer said that if I still want the position for next semester instead of this one, she would hold my application and I would basically get the job without having to interview again.
As I said, I've been pretty busy these past couple of weeks with school. There is always another article to read or paper to work on or midterm to study for. Honestly I don't know if I would have been able to handle a job on top of 4 classes all for my majors. I think spring semester is going to be a lot less stressful than this one and I would probably be able to balance the workload of school and working a lot better but I was still pretty disappointed that I did not get the position. That being said, the last thing my interviewer said to me was, "I hope this doesn't discourage you from coming back and working here in the future". So I'll try my best to not get discouraged and in the mean time, will just enjoy the free time I have to hang out, and I guess really relax before classes become harder and the workload heavier.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Life Lesson #10
connecting with tumblr
For as long as I can remember, my parents have stressed to me the importance of finishing what I start. This has not only included completing tasks, but also not being wishy washy, constantly changing my mind(though this one I kind of fail at). I was reminded on Friday the importance of this simple but age old advice.
On Friday I had an interview at the MFC in the library at 2pm. Knowing my habit of being late, I decided to go early. It was interesting how everything played out. I ended up going 10 minutes later than I initially decided, and walked a different route than I normally would to the library. Right in front of Cafe Strada, I was stopped by a lady who looked to be a couple of years older than me. Maybe it was because I was a short asian like her, or because I wasn’t rushing by her or because I made eye contact with her but she stopped me to ask if I knew where 2251 College was. I basically told her I did not but that she was on College now. She thanked me, and began to walk down college towards the units.
As I crossed the street, I noticed the address sign 2300 with an arrow pointing down the street. Realizing the lady was going the wrong direction, I didn’t know what to do. I looked on the campus map, was able to find 2251 and looked at my cell phone. I had 15 minutes to get to my interview in Moffitt. Realizing I would never feel good knowing this lady was going to get further and further lost, I turned around and started to run trying to find her. I caught up to her as she was about to cross the street to Underhill, told her I found where her class was, and walked with her back to campus. We started to talk (her name is Yin-Yang) and I round out she was actually a visiting research student in the Political Science department(my major) specializing in East Asia Comparative Politics (what I want to emphasize in). What are the chances of that happening? We had a really good talk, and I got to my interview at exactly 2:00. Even after my interview(a post for another day) I could not stop from thinking about this experience. I don't know why it affected me as much as it did but I think it was a great reminder to not let the stress and day to day grind of life stop me from a simple lifestyle of compassion, kindness and care for others.
For as long as I can remember, my parents have stressed to me the importance of finishing what I start. This has not only included completing tasks, but also not being wishy washy, constantly changing my mind(though this one I kind of fail at). I was reminded on Friday the importance of this simple but age old advice.
On Friday I had an interview at the MFC in the library at 2pm. Knowing my habit of being late, I decided to go early. It was interesting how everything played out. I ended up going 10 minutes later than I initially decided, and walked a different route than I normally would to the library. Right in front of Cafe Strada, I was stopped by a lady who looked to be a couple of years older than me. Maybe it was because I was a short asian like her, or because I wasn’t rushing by her or because I made eye contact with her but she stopped me to ask if I knew where 2251 College was. I basically told her I did not but that she was on College now. She thanked me, and began to walk down college towards the units.
As I crossed the street, I noticed the address sign 2300 with an arrow pointing down the street. Realizing the lady was going the wrong direction, I didn’t know what to do. I looked on the campus map, was able to find 2251 and looked at my cell phone. I had 15 minutes to get to my interview in Moffitt. Realizing I would never feel good knowing this lady was going to get further and further lost, I turned around and started to run trying to find her. I caught up to her as she was about to cross the street to Underhill, told her I found where her class was, and walked with her back to campus. We started to talk (her name is Yin-Yang) and I round out she was actually a visiting research student in the Political Science department(my major) specializing in East Asia Comparative Politics (what I want to emphasize in). What are the chances of that happening? We had a really good talk, and I got to my interview at exactly 2:00. Even after my interview(a post for another day) I could not stop from thinking about this experience. I don't know why it affected me as much as it did but I think it was a great reminder to not let the stress and day to day grind of life stop me from a simple lifestyle of compassion, kindness and care for others.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Going Going Gone
After KCDC tomorrow a large group of the college KCDC leaders will be heading off to Del Valle camp grounds for a mini weekend retreat. This will be the first year the class of 2008 will get a chance to experience real camping as part of the college department. I have to admit I'm kinda excited for it but at the same time I am up at nearly 2 in the morning trying to finish packing and finish hw and clean. It has definitely been a busy couple of weeks and honestly I am completely drained both physically and spiritually. I don't know what's planned for this weekend but I will be praying for God to meet with me, to revive my spirit and to really give me some guidance and direction as to where He wants me to go.
On that note, I feel like my brain has been working overtime these couple of weeks as I am constantly thinking about what needs to be done next, what I need to plan ahead for, all the different worries in my life. This is not to say I have spent these past weeks moping around like a dejected child in a corner. I have been blessed with a lot of people who have been keeping me afloat but I think I'm at the point where I need to really just support myself. Don't get me wrong. I'm entirely grateful and thankful to those who have been continually encouraging me and have been sharing my burdens but I can't only depend on them and not try to help myself right? That's what I will leave you with.
Actually I feel bad that I have not updated my 3 part blog so here is the song part. I was actually going to post up a different song but after last Friday it got changed (in my mind at least). Terry W-L introduced a new idea of meditation on the Word last Friday at fellowship and I wanted to share my experience with you guys. As John 19 was read out loud, the college folk closed their eyes and were instructed to really rest on the word, on taking in the gospel. As the reading ended, an extremely bright but at the same time, faint picture of Jesus on the cross came to mind. As I was staring at the sight before me, I realized my eyes could not stay on the image any longer and my eyes were drawn to the feet of Jesus. In the kneeling position I was in, I could not help but feel like I finally understood what it meant to be at the feet of Jesus. It's hard to explain but in my mind, the physical act of kneeling at the feet of Jesus was so incredibly powerful. For the rest of the meditation time, my mind kept going to this song written a couple of months ago. It's nowhere close to being finished and I don't know the direction I want to take the song but for now, here it is. I haven't had the time to add instrumentals to the recording of it yet but hopefully I can get that out ....before the year is done? We'll see. You guys all know how bad I am at following up with these things.
Chorus:
I am spoken for
Each and every day
My hope is in a God who
Reserved for me a space
Picked up from the ground
From the rumble of my life
In His hands I’m safe and sound
I am spoken for
Bridge:
Hands that washed my feet (I am spoken for)
Hands nailed to the cross (I am spoken for)
Hands that hold me close (I am spoken for)
Hands that shield me (I am spoken for)
(2x)
These hands made me new and
These hands paid the price
For my sin that caused me death
He has given me life
Sunday, June 27, 2010
A Heart to Heart
There have been quite a few lingering thoughts in my head these past couple of weeks. Well more like the past month or so. The plan? A 3 part post that will be posted throughout the week ( if I remember and if I'm not too tired from KCDC that is). The topics will be: songs, driving, and humility.
Since I just had a driving lesson today why not start with that. So for the past month I've been getting driving lessons and I must say, as much as I think driving is pretty cool and kinda fun, it feels like school. And I don't mean the good school either. Here's some context. Now this is not to sound boastful or anything but I've never really been chastised in school by a teacher since like.....1st grade(Ms. To just really didn't like me and I think the feelings were mutual and D.Yee in high school doesn't count either cause he holds a grudge towards anyone who corrects him). School up until this point has been relatively nice. My grades aren't perfect but I do my best and I think a lot of times that is reflected in my work and my teachers have respected that.
Now on with the story. So far school hasn't really felt like school. It was just something I did and I more or less enjoyed(not including finals and midterms). But my driving lessons feel like school. I'm sure it's for my own good so I can learn how to drive properly and whatnot but every negative comment burns itself into my thoughts and I can only imagine it to be equivalent with how people feel when teachers give you a bad grade. Or not? I'm not sure but that's the comparison I'm going with. Plus as much as I do actually enjoy driving and think it's exciting, I find myself checking the clock constantly to let myself know how much longer I have to be in the car. Now I know at times I've done this in high school (especially in apbio with meng) but that was just an 'I'm bored when can we go to the next class or eat' not 'When will this end so I can leave this car and not see it for another week'. I'm pretty sure this story has no point to it but I
thought I'd just put it out there.
Since I just had a driving lesson today why not start with that. So for the past month I've been getting driving lessons and I must say, as much as I think driving is pretty cool and kinda fun, it feels like school. And I don't mean the good school either. Here's some context. Now this is not to sound boastful or anything but I've never really been chastised in school by a teacher since like.....1st grade(Ms. To just really didn't like me and I think the feelings were mutual and D.Yee in high school doesn't count either cause he holds a grudge towards anyone who corrects him). School up until this point has been relatively nice. My grades aren't perfect but I do my best and I think a lot of times that is reflected in my work and my teachers have respected that.
Now on with the story. So far school hasn't really felt like school. It was just something I did and I more or less enjoyed(not including finals and midterms). But my driving lessons feel like school. I'm sure it's for my own good so I can learn how to drive properly and whatnot but every negative comment burns itself into my thoughts and I can only imagine it to be equivalent with how people feel when teachers give you a bad grade. Or not? I'm not sure but that's the comparison I'm going with. Plus as much as I do actually enjoy driving and think it's exciting, I find myself checking the clock constantly to let myself know how much longer I have to be in the car. Now I know at times I've done this in high school (especially in apbio with meng) but that was just an 'I'm bored when can we go to the next class or eat' not 'When will this end so I can leave this car and not see it for another week'. I'm pretty sure this story has no point to it but I
thought I'd just put it out there.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Life has been ...
GOOD!
I didn't realize how long it has been since I've updated this blog but that might be because tumblr is quite addicting. In the past month or so, I have....finished my second year of college, enjoyed coffee for the first time (soooo yummy), lounged around at home, went driving for the first time, had an amazing week at chapter camp, and lounged around some more.
It was definitely weird ending the second year of college. It's really hard to believe that 2 years ago I was barely graduated and now another graduation is somewhat looming.
Chapter camp was an immense blessing. As interesting as the manuscript study time and worship track was, I think my favorite parts of chapter camp was when I stayed up having one-on-one conversations with people in the molly murphy cabin. Lots of open honest sharing that really brought a lot of joy into my heart. Thoroughly wonderful =] I'll keep those conversations to myself though.
*goal for next year = see someone fly off the blob*
At the beginning of the year/semester I had a list of sorts up to keep track of active changes I was making in my life. Not sure what number I'm on but one to add to the list is definitely based on
"Better is open rebuke, than hidden love" Proverbs 27:5
I think it's become somewhat of a theme for me these past couple of weeks. Before, I was incredibly scared of confrontation of any sort. Now though, I know that if something is really burdening me, it's important to share that with other people so that things would not turn into bitterness but instead would be let go. Wise words from the senior class (plus the bible)
My life is boring so I don't have anything else to talk about. I think if I blog in sorter intervals I'd remember the small happy things better and be able to blog about then but I don't so oo well. Hello bob :]
I didn't realize how long it has been since I've updated this blog but that might be because tumblr is quite addicting. In the past month or so, I have....finished my second year of college, enjoyed coffee for the first time (soooo yummy), lounged around at home, went driving for the first time, had an amazing week at chapter camp, and lounged around some more.
It was definitely weird ending the second year of college. It's really hard to believe that 2 years ago I was barely graduated and now another graduation is somewhat looming.
Chapter camp was an immense blessing. As interesting as the manuscript study time and worship track was, I think my favorite parts of chapter camp was when I stayed up having one-on-one conversations with people in the molly murphy cabin. Lots of open honest sharing that really brought a lot of joy into my heart. Thoroughly wonderful =] I'll keep those conversations to myself though.
*goal for next year = see someone fly off the blob*
At the beginning of the year/semester I had a list of sorts up to keep track of active changes I was making in my life. Not sure what number I'm on but one to add to the list is definitely based on
"Better is open rebuke, than hidden love" Proverbs 27:5
I think it's become somewhat of a theme for me these past couple of weeks. Before, I was incredibly scared of confrontation of any sort. Now though, I know that if something is really burdening me, it's important to share that with other people so that things would not turn into bitterness but instead would be let go. Wise words from the senior class (plus the bible)
My life is boring so I don't have anything else to talk about. I think if I blog in sorter intervals I'd remember the small happy things better and be able to blog about then but I don't so oo well. Hello bob :]
Friday, April 16, 2010
Green Tea Tapioca
So I was just....not feeling very good today. I think a lot of it was spiritually and it was carrying over to the physical side. But my trip to moccachios for a hot green tea tapioca right before my Pol Sci 2 lecture changed everything.
First of all, I think a hot green tea tapioca always makes me happy. And as soon as that cup was in my hand, I had a smile on my face. Then I proceeded to go to lecture to watch my GSI give a guest lecture on civil societies, specifically in China. And I have to say, I sat there captivated for an hour and a half. Lots of funny first hand stories but I think the clips that were shown and the in depth descriptions and narrative of what happened and the emotional response by the native people just struck me and I could do nothing but try to memorize every fact my GSI was saying. I mean I was literally tearing up listening to the emotional response of the parents of students who were part of the Tiananmen riots. And then to see the original footage of the Tankman was so...time stopping. Yeah I walked out ofS that lecture hall very content with my day.
But the day was not over. Nope. Ran over to cafe 3 to have lunch with Becky. I think Becky and I try to eat together at least every other week or so....or really when one of us realize it's been awhile since we've seen each other. This particular dinner, we met up around 6:30 and stayed in cafe 3 talking into 9:30. Yes that's right past closing. Such a wide range of topics from Boy Meets World and Psych to consumer spending and greed to international issues fueled by western capitalism. Conversations went from light to really heavy and then back to light again. But for sure, lots of really good and encouraging conversations.
And now to cap off the day, Becky told me to go read givesmehope.com and mylifeisaverage.com the latter was quite funny and the former was downright inspiring(which is the goal of the site). Loved reading all the different posts thougt it has monopolized the entire rest of my night. Regardless, it has been worth it and I still have a whole bunch left to read.
It's been a really good day :]
*talking about the guy in my discussion who thinks eugenics is wonderful*
Becky: ...what's wrong with him???
Me: Iono....maybe he's Republican?
(this was a joke.......hope no one was offended)
First of all, I think a hot green tea tapioca always makes me happy. And as soon as that cup was in my hand, I had a smile on my face. Then I proceeded to go to lecture to watch my GSI give a guest lecture on civil societies, specifically in China. And I have to say, I sat there captivated for an hour and a half. Lots of funny first hand stories but I think the clips that were shown and the in depth descriptions and narrative of what happened and the emotional response by the native people just struck me and I could do nothing but try to memorize every fact my GSI was saying. I mean I was literally tearing up listening to the emotional response of the parents of students who were part of the Tiananmen riots. And then to see the original footage of the Tankman was so...time stopping. Yeah I walked out ofS that lecture hall very content with my day.
But the day was not over. Nope. Ran over to cafe 3 to have lunch with Becky. I think Becky and I try to eat together at least every other week or so....or really when one of us realize it's been awhile since we've seen each other. This particular dinner, we met up around 6:30 and stayed in cafe 3 talking into 9:30. Yes that's right past closing. Such a wide range of topics from Boy Meets World and Psych to consumer spending and greed to international issues fueled by western capitalism. Conversations went from light to really heavy and then back to light again. But for sure, lots of really good and encouraging conversations.
And now to cap off the day, Becky told me to go read givesmehope.com and mylifeisaverage.com the latter was quite funny and the former was downright inspiring(which is the goal of the site). Loved reading all the different posts thougt it has monopolized the entire rest of my night. Regardless, it has been worth it and I still have a whole bunch left to read.
It's been a really good day :]
*talking about the guy in my discussion who thinks eugenics is wonderful*
Becky: ...what's wrong with him???
Me: Iono....maybe he's Republican?
(this was a joke.......hope no one was offended)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
One of those weeks...
I'm having one of those weeks, where nothing out of the ordinary happens, and I really think that everything is fine. And then something simple and small happens, and I am entirely off kilter.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
March...ing on
Corny title I know. But March has traditionally been a very packed month. For 4 years in high school March meant Spera presentations. The culminations of a whole year of hard work, planning, researching, rehearsing, resting on 2 15 minute presentations. With one year we knew what was coming, one year we were incredibly hopeful, another we were far too cocky about ourselves, and lastly our year of high hopes, depression and an incredible pulled out win.
March has also been the month of the beginning of the track season. Which meant all my time was going to be divided up between track and spera. In senior year, March meant college. And in the same sense, that was also the beginning of fat lard.
One of the key features of March has to be eating. Very much so connected to spera, the meals in March had to be one of the highlights of the entire year. Not because of all the good food we ate, but because of the company. March was definitely the month of close bonding, laughter, lots and lots of eating pictures.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=30810&id=580911652
look if you dont believe me. and this is just one of the years
if you look closely theres a script being worked on
and we sure do love food
but food also leads us to be really weird
and do things like this
These past two years March has been different though. Sure there's still a lot of eating. And yes lots and lots of bonding time (plus couch pictures) But March has also become a month of high hopes, fast crashes and above all else, new confidence. Well at least that's kinda what it was last year. I guess I was expecting the same to repeat itself this March but it hasn't exactly happened.....not entirely sure what I expect right now... Still though, March has not let me down and it's been a pretty good month, this week in particular. Once I get a chance the new couch pics will go up. Bound to bring a smile to someone's face :]
And as the month comes to an end, I guess there's not much to do but hope April will be just a bit better. "Only time will tell" =p guess what script/what year + what scene this is from
March has also been the month of the beginning of the track season. Which meant all my time was going to be divided up between track and spera. In senior year, March meant college. And in the same sense, that was also the beginning of fat lard.
One of the key features of March has to be eating. Very much so connected to spera, the meals in March had to be one of the highlights of the entire year. Not because of all the good food we ate, but because of the company. March was definitely the month of close bonding, laughter, lots and lots of eating pictures.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=30810&id=580911652
look if you dont believe me. and this is just one of the years
if you look closely theres a script being worked on
and we sure do love food
but food also leads us to be really weird
and do things like this
These past two years March has been different though. Sure there's still a lot of eating. And yes lots and lots of bonding time (plus couch pictures) But March has also become a month of high hopes, fast crashes and above all else, new confidence. Well at least that's kinda what it was last year. I guess I was expecting the same to repeat itself this March but it hasn't exactly happened.....not entirely sure what I expect right now... Still though, March has not let me down and it's been a pretty good month, this week in particular. Once I get a chance the new couch pics will go up. Bound to bring a smile to someone's face :]
And as the month comes to an end, I guess there's not much to do but hope April will be just a bit better. "Only time will tell" =p guess what script/what year + what scene this is from
Monday, March 22, 2010
3:54
Spring Break! Though I have to admit it didn't start feeling like spring break until today as I've seen a deluge of people coming back to the city from their respective schools. Before I forget, this week has definitely been a week of experiences both good and bad.
The bad: Tuesday morning I turned on my laptop and it didn't work! I felt like my entire life was lost....well not really but still!! And the worst part is all of my work for this past semester was not saved somewhere else, including the pages of research I found for my research paper just the day before. It was an incredibly stressful day. Found out that my laptop had a defected video graphics card that was ruining my motherboard...in other words, I needed to spend hundreds of dollars replacing most of the laptop.
The good: Tuesday night by the advice of youtube videos, I overheated my laptop and turned it off and on again and voila it worked!! Temporary fix but long enough for me to at least save all the important stuff.
The really really good: Wednesday
I had one of my most favorite Wednesdays of my life!
Started the day by being literally 3 mins late for my 2 hour PS 2 discussion (I was half an hour late the previous week and my GSI had me take the pop quiz I missed by myself in the corner....and I really do mean literally the corner..by myself....separated from the rest of the class) As I was running to get to class, I see the whole class walking out! Apparently my GSI was convinced that it was such a nice day that we would have discussion outside on the grass of Wheeler. A few more minutes late and I would have showed up to an empty classroom(they didn't even leave a note!). Outside discussion was such a wonderful experience. Everyone was just so happy :] smiles all around. plus a guy playing an accordion slowly walked by us so we had some pretty background music. plus plus a guy playing guitar sat behind our class the whole time strumming beautiful things pleasing to my ears. On top of that, discussion got cut 1 hr so I basically had the whole day free. And THEN I decided to stop by the berkeley laptop repair place and the guy said if I talk to LENOVO they should be able to set something. So I did.....and the person helping me out (Mark H.) basically said it wasn't my fault so even though my warranty expired, he's gonna set up an exception repair, and I can even get it fixed in Berkeley so I don't have to send anything in!! This already set me in a really good mood but to top if off, I decided to lay on the grass and work outside to enjoy the wonderful sun. Had to be one of the best decisions.
Definitely a day of me just being happy and smiling :]
The bad: Tuesday morning I turned on my laptop and it didn't work! I felt like my entire life was lost....well not really but still!! And the worst part is all of my work for this past semester was not saved somewhere else, including the pages of research I found for my research paper just the day before. It was an incredibly stressful day. Found out that my laptop had a defected video graphics card that was ruining my motherboard...in other words, I needed to spend hundreds of dollars replacing most of the laptop.
The good: Tuesday night by the advice of youtube videos, I overheated my laptop and turned it off and on again and voila it worked!! Temporary fix but long enough for me to at least save all the important stuff.
The really really good: Wednesday
I had one of my most favorite Wednesdays of my life!
Started the day by being literally 3 mins late for my 2 hour PS 2 discussion (I was half an hour late the previous week and my GSI had me take the pop quiz I missed by myself in the corner....and I really do mean literally the corner..by myself....separated from the rest of the class) As I was running to get to class, I see the whole class walking out! Apparently my GSI was convinced that it was such a nice day that we would have discussion outside on the grass of Wheeler. A few more minutes late and I would have showed up to an empty classroom(they didn't even leave a note!). Outside discussion was such a wonderful experience. Everyone was just so happy :] smiles all around. plus a guy playing an accordion slowly walked by us so we had some pretty background music. plus plus a guy playing guitar sat behind our class the whole time strumming beautiful things pleasing to my ears. On top of that, discussion got cut 1 hr so I basically had the whole day free. And THEN I decided to stop by the berkeley laptop repair place and the guy said if I talk to LENOVO they should be able to set something. So I did.....and the person helping me out (Mark H.) basically said it wasn't my fault so even though my warranty expired, he's gonna set up an exception repair, and I can even get it fixed in Berkeley so I don't have to send anything in!! This already set me in a really good mood but to top if off, I decided to lay on the grass and work outside to enjoy the wonderful sun. Had to be one of the best decisions.
Definitely a day of me just being happy and smiling :]
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
dying dying dead alive
me: i am too
jesus is so good to me :]
Sarah: he is he is!
my laptop decided to die on me today.....
well actually it's not my fault .... i think..... apparently my laptop uses a faulty nDIVIA video graphics card that fries my motherboard....this is really nerdy. but i've been stressing about this all day and I've had to keep praying about, not that my laptop would be fixed, but that i wouldn't worry so much about something so material. And so after reading lots of posts online about it, I overheated my laptop, turned it on, and it works!! it's only a temporary fix but still i was able to save all of my work for this past semester. *sigh. this is the most calm i have felt all day. jesus makes me smile =]
jesus is so good to me :]
Sarah: he is he is!
my laptop decided to die on me today.....
well actually it's not my fault .... i think..... apparently my laptop uses a faulty nDIVIA video graphics card that fries my motherboard....this is really nerdy. but i've been stressing about this all day and I've had to keep praying about, not that my laptop would be fixed, but that i wouldn't worry so much about something so material. And so after reading lots of posts online about it, I overheated my laptop, turned it on, and it works!! it's only a temporary fix but still i was able to save all of my work for this past semester. *sigh. this is the most calm i have felt all day. jesus makes me smile =]
Friday, February 26, 2010
You Know When.....
you have those days where you wake up and you know it's just not going to be a good day? im having one of those days...........
and i blame this thing
and i blame this thing
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Resolutions
I feel like I've had so many things going on in my mind recently...It's been pretty hard to organize all my thoughts so get ready for a good amount of reading.
First off, I am still unsure of what my summer plans are going to be. So far, I've signed up for STATS N21 but it's going to be mostly online so it won't interfere with other plans. Here are the possibilities, KCDC, summer session, or nothing at all. Actually to be honest that last one isn't really even in the running. After I didn't get into either of the classes I needed to (R1B/arts and lit breadth) I really thought okay for sure I need to do summer session but after figuring out a tentative schedule for my classes for the rest of my college career with my pol sci adviser, it didn't seem necessary anymore. In fact, after talking about it to several people, I really feel like God was clearing my schedule this summer so that I could do this program. Still though, I am hesitant to make a commitment, because it seriously is a lot of work. Trainings every Sunday for the next 3 months(at least I get to skip basic training), 6 straight weeks of the program in the summer, lesson prep, craft preps, examples for people in my age group... well you get the idea, just a lot of work. I think I'm definitely at the point where I know what I should do, I know what I need to do, but I still want to put it off. Knowing me, I'll probably just agree the next time I'm asked.
Secondly, resolutions. I know it's already February but it'll count for the Chinese New Year =]. Actually I've had these resolutions for about a month now but just have not really told them to anyone. First off, I want to be less.....what's the word....hermit like? and more ....social? Okay explanation time. I think I'm definitely the kind of person who doesn't mind keeping to themselves. That's not to say I don't enjoy being in the company of other people, but I don't mind the quiet. It's a comfortable setting for me. But I definitely get comfortable with keeping to myself and not really speaking out. For those who know me fairly well, you know that I tend to really bottle everything up. If something is bothering me, if I'm struggling with something, if someone says something that really upsets me, I don't say anything. I let it pass and hope that it'll go away. I also tend to keep a lot of comments to myself for fear of offending anyone or seem condescending. Well I'm gonna try really really hard to not do that anymore......well as least not as much. I should have no fear if my intentions are good right? Well.......I'll work on it.
Very related to that, I want to take more chances. I have so many fears, inhibitions, EXCUSES! I never want to do anything that will put me in the spotlight for fear of being judged. It doesn't even have to be something big. I just DO NOT want to stand out. Maybe that's why I enjoy the social sciences so much. Way back in 10th grade in Mr. Vedar's Modern World Class, discussions were centered around a back and forth between me and maybe 1 or 2 other people. *ask Meng for comfirmation* And for the whole first semester, even though I had something to say or I knew the right answer, I would get so scared!! Like seriously, I had this really really bad habit of raising my hand during open discussions (okay I seriously still do this now ALL the time) and my face would turn crazy red. Think.....whole face the shade of a tomato. I kid you not, people in class used to comment and yell it out whenever it happened. And then there was of course the hyperventilating and speaking at 3x my normal speed during presentations.....those were the days.... But back to my original point, ever since then, social science classes were the only classes I felt confident enough to voice my opinion. So again I'm trying to get away from this comfort zone that I'm in. So far I have:
1. agreed to lead worship for LD
2. brought in a song to hopefully play for worship for band ministry (before I would always write an email and say we should learn this song and they would tell me to bring the song in and be prepared to share it......and i did not...)
3. confronted/kindly brought up issues to friends
hopefully this list gets really long by the end of the year
4. volunteered to lead bible study
another example of my desire to fade in. I recently acquired 2 american apparel sweatshirts(gotta love those vendor sales - thanks Chris!). I went to the store to kinda look and see which colors I wanted and I had already decided on the forest green and was thinking about getting either the mermaid green or sea blue. I ultimately decided on the sea blue because the girl at the store said most people get the sea blue because it's an easy color to pull off. And I agreed. It's a pretty dark, normal color and had I gotten it and worn it, it wouldn't be very noticeable. Still my eyes wandered ever so slightly to the mermaid green but I figured, no its too bright, too noticeable, too...not me? But lo and behold, I now have forest green and mermaid green. The more I think about it, the more happy I am that it turned out this way. I really did like the color of mermaid green but would have gone with the safe choice of sea blue....okay I can't believe I just wrote a whole paragraph about my american apparel sweatshirts......for those first time readers, I'm usually not this...vain? no judgment please =]
Switching topics now, for awhile, I stopped trying to write songs. I was never ..satisfied with them and that was because I would always compare it to other songs. But I figured out the real problem. I tried to write songs that other people could sing. I was more focused on writing something that could be sung by other people in worship that I forgot that the reason I started writing in the first place was because the song was true for ME. That seems kind of conceited but am I writing these songs for people, or am I writing them for me or for my growth or for my relationship with God? My heart needs to be at the right place first and foremost.
It's nearly 4am so time for a quick nap before chinese new year breakfast with the fam and then church and EGGETTES with the fellowship =]
On my last day in LA, this was the fortune in my fortune cookie. It's pretty cliche but....well.....maybe
First off, I am still unsure of what my summer plans are going to be. So far, I've signed up for STATS N21 but it's going to be mostly online so it won't interfere with other plans. Here are the possibilities, KCDC, summer session, or nothing at all. Actually to be honest that last one isn't really even in the running. After I didn't get into either of the classes I needed to (R1B/arts and lit breadth) I really thought okay for sure I need to do summer session but after figuring out a tentative schedule for my classes for the rest of my college career with my pol sci adviser, it didn't seem necessary anymore. In fact, after talking about it to several people, I really feel like God was clearing my schedule this summer so that I could do this program. Still though, I am hesitant to make a commitment, because it seriously is a lot of work. Trainings every Sunday for the next 3 months(at least I get to skip basic training), 6 straight weeks of the program in the summer, lesson prep, craft preps, examples for people in my age group... well you get the idea, just a lot of work. I think I'm definitely at the point where I know what I should do, I know what I need to do, but I still want to put it off. Knowing me, I'll probably just agree the next time I'm asked.
Secondly, resolutions. I know it's already February but it'll count for the Chinese New Year =]. Actually I've had these resolutions for about a month now but just have not really told them to anyone. First off, I want to be less.....what's the word....hermit like? and more ....social? Okay explanation time. I think I'm definitely the kind of person who doesn't mind keeping to themselves. That's not to say I don't enjoy being in the company of other people, but I don't mind the quiet. It's a comfortable setting for me. But I definitely get comfortable with keeping to myself and not really speaking out. For those who know me fairly well, you know that I tend to really bottle everything up. If something is bothering me, if I'm struggling with something, if someone says something that really upsets me, I don't say anything. I let it pass and hope that it'll go away. I also tend to keep a lot of comments to myself for fear of offending anyone or seem condescending. Well I'm gonna try really really hard to not do that anymore......well as least not as much. I should have no fear if my intentions are good right? Well.......I'll work on it.
Very related to that, I want to take more chances. I have so many fears, inhibitions, EXCUSES! I never want to do anything that will put me in the spotlight for fear of being judged. It doesn't even have to be something big. I just DO NOT want to stand out. Maybe that's why I enjoy the social sciences so much. Way back in 10th grade in Mr. Vedar's Modern World Class, discussions were centered around a back and forth between me and maybe 1 or 2 other people. *ask Meng for comfirmation* And for the whole first semester, even though I had something to say or I knew the right answer, I would get so scared!! Like seriously, I had this really really bad habit of raising my hand during open discussions (okay I seriously still do this now ALL the time) and my face would turn crazy red. Think.....whole face the shade of a tomato. I kid you not, people in class used to comment and yell it out whenever it happened. And then there was of course the hyperventilating and speaking at 3x my normal speed during presentations.....those were the days.... But back to my original point, ever since then, social science classes were the only classes I felt confident enough to voice my opinion. So again I'm trying to get away from this comfort zone that I'm in. So far I have:
1. agreed to lead worship for LD
2. brought in a song to hopefully play for worship for band ministry (before I would always write an email and say we should learn this song and they would tell me to bring the song in and be prepared to share it......and i did not...)
3. confronted/kindly brought up issues to friends
hopefully this list gets really long by the end of the year
4. volunteered to lead bible study
another example of my desire to fade in. I recently acquired 2 american apparel sweatshirts(gotta love those vendor sales - thanks Chris!). I went to the store to kinda look and see which colors I wanted and I had already decided on the forest green and was thinking about getting either the mermaid green or sea blue. I ultimately decided on the sea blue because the girl at the store said most people get the sea blue because it's an easy color to pull off. And I agreed. It's a pretty dark, normal color and had I gotten it and worn it, it wouldn't be very noticeable. Still my eyes wandered ever so slightly to the mermaid green but I figured, no its too bright, too noticeable, too...not me? But lo and behold, I now have forest green and mermaid green. The more I think about it, the more happy I am that it turned out this way. I really did like the color of mermaid green but would have gone with the safe choice of sea blue....okay I can't believe I just wrote a whole paragraph about my american apparel sweatshirts......for those first time readers, I'm usually not this...vain? no judgment please =]
Switching topics now, for awhile, I stopped trying to write songs. I was never ..satisfied with them and that was because I would always compare it to other songs. But I figured out the real problem. I tried to write songs that other people could sing. I was more focused on writing something that could be sung by other people in worship that I forgot that the reason I started writing in the first place was because the song was true for ME. That seems kind of conceited but am I writing these songs for people, or am I writing them for me or for my growth or for my relationship with God? My heart needs to be at the right place first and foremost.
It's nearly 4am so time for a quick nap before chinese new year breakfast with the fam and then church and EGGETTES with the fellowship =]
On my last day in LA, this was the fortune in my fortune cookie. It's pretty cliche but....well.....maybe
Friday, February 12, 2010
Remember when...
Remember when......
these were the coolest pencil cases to have ever???
i miss these.....
i used to not pay attention in class and rearrange my pencils and erasers instead...so much fun =]
these were the coolest pencil cases to have ever???
i miss these.....
i used to not pay attention in class and rearrange my pencils and erasers instead...so much fun =]
Friday, February 5, 2010
Why hello there. I won't go into too much detail about all the things from my socal trip(which was over a month ago already! time sure flies)
the car was packed to the brim with our stuff
we decided to stay in irvine for a day to hang out. lots of yummy snacks to tide us over
>
and of course once we got to LA we had to go get some 9.99 Korean BBQ
I have to say we look pretty normal for people who were stuffed with meat
I also got to finally try diddy riese
my new fav toy. toby! whose face is square while all the other trains are circular
this was taken in ochem right before we left. What shifty eyes from the guy above us
meng and i had a really long laugh about this one....i dont really know why
most nights we'd stay up talking...okay so it was more like I would tell Meng about political science terms and she'd fall asleep
LA dc food was pretty good. best part? they always had good fortune cookies. this is the fortune from the last meal. good advice i would say
anyhoo recently things have been....well they're better now let's just say that. Class scheduling was crazyyyy and now I have class every single day =[ Oh well at least I can't be lazy and sleep in until crazy hours on Fridays. All about being productive.
yesterday i finally got around to talking to the political science adviser and all the stress i had felt about class scheduling for the next two years virtually disappeared! i'm actually more on track than i had originally thought which was so good to hear and while my classes will be stacked for the following 4 semesters, it's very much so doable. but last night as i was telling aileen this, i realized that maybe God was providing me with a way to do KCDC this summer. It's definitely something that's been on my mind a lot and I do see the need for leaders but it's difficult to agree to give up my summer. oh well we shall see.
on a lighter note, i am currently snacking on these
and it makes me happy =]
the car was packed to the brim with our stuff
we decided to stay in irvine for a day to hang out. lots of yummy snacks to tide us over>
and of course once we got to LA we had to go get some 9.99 Korean BBQ
I have to say we look pretty normal for people who were stuffed with meat
I also got to finally try diddy riese
my new fav toy. toby! whose face is square while all the other trains are circular
this was taken in ochem right before we left. What shifty eyes from the guy above us
meng and i had a really long laugh about this one....i dont really know why
most nights we'd stay up talking...okay so it was more like I would tell Meng about political science terms and she'd fall asleep
LA dc food was pretty good. best part? they always had good fortune cookies. this is the fortune from the last meal. good advice i would say
anyhoo recently things have been....well they're better now let's just say that. Class scheduling was crazyyyy and now I have class every single day =[ Oh well at least I can't be lazy and sleep in until crazy hours on Fridays. All about being productive.
yesterday i finally got around to talking to the political science adviser and all the stress i had felt about class scheduling for the next two years virtually disappeared! i'm actually more on track than i had originally thought which was so good to hear and while my classes will be stacked for the following 4 semesters, it's very much so doable. but last night as i was telling aileen this, i realized that maybe God was providing me with a way to do KCDC this summer. It's definitely something that's been on my mind a lot and I do see the need for leaders but it's difficult to agree to give up my summer. oh well we shall see.
on a lighter note, i am currently snacking on these
and it makes me happy =]
4:10
I am starting to write this blog at 4:10AM. Why? Because it's been so darn long since I've last posted. After LA, I kept telling myself to post, to update, to put my thoughts down on something more tangible than my head. And yet I keep putting it off! The great hope? To produce a full updated post within the next several days. For those faithful few who still check to see if I am alive via blogosphere, here is something to tide you over
quick fyi, this is the burger I ordered from Jack in the Box. It was supposed to be a bacon burger.....except that it did not come with bacon.....or anything else for that matter!
quick fyi, this is the burger I ordered from Jack in the Box. It was supposed to be a bacon burger.....except that it did not come with bacon.....or anything else for that matter!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I can't help thinking....
I know I'm skipping over some updates but this is quite a prevalent post. I was awaken today at 8:05am by a phone call that I promptly rejected because I thought it was my phone alarm. At around 8:45am I was awaken again but this time by a call to get up for breakfast and I noticed that I had a voicemail message in need of checking. So basically southwest decided to cancel my flight home...yes that is right they canceled my flight home. And to make matters worse, the flight I was debating between with the one I chose was not canceled. Cost for a new flight you ask? $104 more. Fail to massive proportions.
post break to speak to a southwest rep
Oh thank Jesus,.... and Steven my southwest representative... They were able to get me on another flight today! yay okay but to continue with my train of thought.
So here I was after listening to my voicemail thinking....I cannot believe this ACTUALLY happened! like really?? why!!!! And then as I went online to check my flight and look for alternative flights I kept turning to Meng every other minute saying, "I hate southwest". I have to admit I was really ready to get mad and demand for a flight without having to pay the difference. So I call southwest all ready to justify a flight and they put me on callback hold for 20-30 minutes. At that point I'm just thinking I'm never going to fly southwest ever again. So I hang up and then as I'm checking email and waiting for my callback, I realized that I did not read my devo yesterday because we spent several hours looking at videos online, pictures of spera in past years and then also taking a whole mess of pictures. So I decide to read it to kind of give myself something to do/calm down and as I read it, I couldn't help thinking how fitting it was.
I definitely needed a reminder to check my attitude about the situation and as always God provides in both the physical sense as well as the spiritual one. My anger over the issue would have not made it easier on either party but it would have just caused more stress so the situation (I know it definitely made me feel more stressed out) Also as I checked gmail, my word of the day just so happened to be
As in I chose to magnanimously speak to the southwest representative and not throw a fit over my canceled flight. I think imma have to name my child Steven now to repay him.....or probably not. Anyhoo summing it all up, God provides and even if I didn't get my flight, He is still good.
Okay so that was going to be the end of my post but really feeling the parental love right now. Called my dad to tell him my flight got canceled and rebooked. Sometimes I forget how reasonable my father can be. Probably should have started it off with more than, Dad southwest called at 8 this morning and canceled my flight. But after explaining everything, his response to the cancellation was, "I know it was not your fault and there was nothing you can do about it and your flight is only delayed by a couple of hours. Not too bad. If they try to charge you more for a flight just go ahead and let them. Do whatever you need to do" well I probably shouldn't put that in quotes but it works. Can't help feeling incredibly calm after talking to my pops.
post break to speak to a southwest rep
Oh thank Jesus,.... and Steven my southwest representative... They were able to get me on another flight today! yay okay but to continue with my train of thought.
So here I was after listening to my voicemail thinking....I cannot believe this ACTUALLY happened! like really?? why!!!! And then as I went online to check my flight and look for alternative flights I kept turning to Meng every other minute saying, "I hate southwest". I have to admit I was really ready to get mad and demand for a flight without having to pay the difference. So I call southwest all ready to justify a flight and they put me on callback hold for 20-30 minutes. At that point I'm just thinking I'm never going to fly southwest ever again. So I hang up and then as I'm checking email and waiting for my callback, I realized that I did not read my devo yesterday because we spent several hours looking at videos online, pictures of spera in past years and then also taking a whole mess of pictures. So I decide to read it to kind of give myself something to do/calm down and as I read it, I couldn't help thinking how fitting it was.
I definitely needed a reminder to check my attitude about the situation and as always God provides in both the physical sense as well as the spiritual one. My anger over the issue would have not made it easier on either party but it would have just caused more stress so the situation (I know it definitely made me feel more stressed out) Also as I checked gmail, my word of the day just so happened to be
As in I chose to magnanimously speak to the southwest representative and not throw a fit over my canceled flight. I think imma have to name my child Steven now to repay him.....or probably not. Anyhoo summing it all up, God provides and even if I didn't get my flight, He is still good.
Okay so that was going to be the end of my post but really feeling the parental love right now. Called my dad to tell him my flight got canceled and rebooked. Sometimes I forget how reasonable my father can be. Probably should have started it off with more than, Dad southwest called at 8 this morning and canceled my flight. But after explaining everything, his response to the cancellation was, "I know it was not your fault and there was nothing you can do about it and your flight is only delayed by a couple of hours. Not too bad. If they try to charge you more for a flight just go ahead and let them. Do whatever you need to do" well I probably shouldn't put that in quotes but it works. Can't help feeling incredibly calm after talking to my pops.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
part tres
quick update before heading socal to ucla!
christmas eve consisted of really early morning shopping with christina and meng! I haven't seen Christina in such a long time very fun to catch up but trying to figure out what gift would be good for someone we don't really know was very tiring. so tiring in fact that once we bought what we needed, we promptly decided we needed food fast! so off we went to tofu house!! yummmmmm tofu. i wonder how long it will take to sit at every table in that place. so far i think I'm at 5 but we were already given the super secret table hidden in the back by the kitchen so the others shouldn't be too hard....
Christmas eve also ended up being our spera baking day. our first one but it was quite a success with s'more cupcakes. very yummy but i knew it was wayyyyy too much butter with the graham cracker crust. the graham cracker bottom and cake part was simple enough but we decided to get creative with the marshmallow topping. ill have to post up pics next time =p
time to sleep
christmas eve consisted of really early morning shopping with christina and meng! I haven't seen Christina in such a long time very fun to catch up but trying to figure out what gift would be good for someone we don't really know was very tiring. so tiring in fact that once we bought what we needed, we promptly decided we needed food fast! so off we went to tofu house!! yummmmmm tofu. i wonder how long it will take to sit at every table in that place. so far i think I'm at 5 but we were already given the super secret table hidden in the back by the kitchen so the others shouldn't be too hard....
Christmas eve also ended up being our spera baking day. our first one but it was quite a success with s'more cupcakes. very yummy but i knew it was wayyyyy too much butter with the graham cracker crust. the graham cracker bottom and cake part was simple enough but we decided to get creative with the marshmallow topping. ill have to post up pics next time =p
time to sleep
